This is a new segment, so just shut up, let me tell you a little about it, and heck, lets give it a go. So pretty much everyone knows I have a less than average ability to control my temper. I mean if you don’t know that much about me I think you’re a jerk-off and suggest you go play chicken on Whitney Ave. Just kidding live long and prosper, but hey what I’m trying to say is I sweat the small stuff, and when I get pissed people find it funny (which makes me more mad). So at the expense of myself every week I will be informing you about the events, people, and things that have got me boiling during the week. *Warning I have no concrete idea about the direction any of these segments will go, once I start its kind of a free for all. Enjoy.
Kanye West – What the rickety shit was that at the VMA’s, I have a life so I wasn’t watching it, I didn’t even know what a VMA was until a week ago, but I Google videoed it between porn sessions , and I have got to say, where the hell does this guy get off. Ok, I’ll be the first to admit Beyonce jumping around, moving in impossible goddess ways, with the worlds sexiest backup dancers, shaking those things all up in my face, makes me pitch a tent like I’m camping in Yellowstone Park, but come on, interrupting the hot country blond during her victory speech, to say that Jay-z’s slutwife prancing around in the most revealing bathing suit of all time (Fact: Beyonce shaves, and I know this) was the best video of all time is plain rude and a big load horseshit. How is that possibly an ok thing to do, you have to be fucked in the head or on crack. My possible explanations to why Kanye did what he did are:
1.)He smoked crack out of a pair of “Kanye West Air Yeezy” sneakers from his seat at the VMA’s
2.)Taylor Swift pronounced his name “Cain” so he got angry and retaliated…and smoked crack
3.) Beyonce promised him a Boston Backhand in Row 14 Section J after the show..and he smoked crack
4.) He’s an egocentric prick, he hates crackers, loves crack.
Anyway whatever the reason, what he did to the Taylor was wrong, if for no other reason then she’s simply the sweetest girl ever. I mean I don’t even want to slay her. I would rather go for a beautiful tandem bike with her to a secluded area, where we would have a delicious picnic, go birdwatching, have a ticklefight, things of that nature, then I’d bring her back to my house when dusk came, we would start watching Bee Movie, eating Fig Newtons, spooning, probably reach third base…wait what was I talking about… I don’t know something about Kanye being a dick…
Anyway Taylor if your reading this..your music brings me mediocre enjoyment your body brings me me a lot, and I would like to take u for that picnic and spoon some time…Beyonce can come too…Kanye can not.
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